I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
the raccoons are back...
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