Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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