We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize