it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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