Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
