The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
