marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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