Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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