He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
