We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
