I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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