Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
