so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
