So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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