Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
