So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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