there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
