operation harelip BJ is a go
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
