Are we in a gay sports bar?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
