Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize