Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
