sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
