I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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