you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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