and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Randomize
