4 words: hood of his car
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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