Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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