I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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