Define "chronic" masturbator.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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