brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
