You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
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We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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