If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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