3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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