I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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