First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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