I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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