you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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