There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
