You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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