i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize