Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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