Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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