Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
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If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize