the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize