I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
