Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
