Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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