I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
