My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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