Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
