Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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