he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
