I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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