I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
