so that wasnt chicken after all
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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