had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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