genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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