Soap is not a condiment
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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