worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
