I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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