Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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