I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
