Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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