I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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