You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize